HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER BREAKDOWN
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things on planet earth, especially when you've experienced the most brutal acts which chip at your heart, leaving an echo of torment in your soul: your spirit, mind, and emotions. I'm not talking about the disturbance of your flat mate's character, or the nuisance of your child "forgetting" to wash their dish and glass when they find the sink empty. Although those things do demand forgiveness. I'm talking about your father leaving you from when you were a child. I'm talking about your aunt burning you with hot porridge because of the hatred she has towards your mother. I'm talking about your own family telling you that you're ugly. I'm talking about sexual molestation by your own brother.
Believe it or not, that is Clara's past and real story. That's not even the last of it. How do you even begin to forgive? Why forgive anyway? Well, Clara says, "Forgiveness is about me", as the title of the book says. And who better to tell us than someone who has been faced with the challenge of forgiveness and went through the journey?
In the book, Clara starts by defining the word 'forgiveness' in chapter 1 titled "What is forgiveness?" and chapter 2 titled "Facts about forgiveness". In fact, she elaborates on what forgiveness is not, because there are a lot of myths when it comes to forgiveness that hinder us from even reaching that stage.
"It doesn't mean you no longer feel the pain."
This is followed by Clara helping us to know how it is that we can actually forgive someone, by taking us through her own journey of forgiveness in chapter 5, titled "My journey of forgiveness". The beautiful start of her journey was when she actually wrote a letter of apology to herself. "Forgiveness is about me" after all. She had to forgive herself for neglecting herself, for not shouting for help, for not being honest to herself. Next was for her to forgive those who caused her pain, forgiving those who didn't even ask for forgiveness, because Clara realized, once again, that truly "Forgiveness is about me".
You may be asking yourself at this point as to "why forgiveness is about me?" Perhaps chapter 9 titled "How unforgiveness affects you" will help. Here, Clara explains how unforgiveness affects one spiritually, emotionally and physically - those back pains, repetitive headaches and constricted blood flow to the heart are no joke.
"...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." - Romans 3:23-24
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy." - Micah 7:18 (NIV)
We are actually forgiven by God each and every single day, because forgiveness of sins is in Christ Jesus. And since we have received forgiveness, we are able to give that which we have - forgiveness. God' grace and mercy enables us.
Clara also talks about the role of the church and her awareness about the wounded souls; and ends the book with the fruits of forgiveness as a testimony: restoring broken relationships, learning to love again, spiritual life/ life as a believer improved, dress code.
The book is liberating. Not only does is merely mention the need to forgive but gives great detail as to why Ultimately, forgiveness is about you and me.